happy birthday to me

so here i am at 27.

am i supposed to be having one of those quarter-life crises? it didn't even dawn on me to consider it today, but now as i think about, a crisis enters my life.

it has been just over 9 years since christ said "i love you, dave," in the middle of snow covered fields. nebraska tends to make you feel small when you drive out away from the city (not very hard to do considering there is very little city to be in). there is a vastness to the plains that makes everything look big except for you. the moon is special. that night was special. there was blue all around.

skip forward to the summer and i am at a midnight hardcore show at cornerstone in bushnell, ill. god says, "serve my church." oh crap!

i have become the principle horn player for the university of nebraska-omaha's chamber orchestra. god says, "go to new orleans; learn how to serve my church." my mom says, oh crap!

new orleans has amazing clouds. they are huge. new orleans has amazing people. rich mullins said that the best way he knew how to identify with jesus was to identify with the poor. midnights in the french quarter i listened to people. i watched a homeless man give my friend a tie, just because he wanted to do something nice for him. i watched as this same homeless man was stopped by campus security while he was walking to our bible study we held in the dorms.

on the ground staring at the night sky, god says, "not music, i've got something else for you."

what?

youth ministry?
teaching?
social justice?
pastor?
academia?
theology?
philosophy?
writing?

how many wrong decisions have i made? how many right?

to try to live in abba's embrace is what is needed.
grace.